The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. A blonde was getting sick of all the blonde jokes that she was hearing at work so one night she decided to go home and learn all of the state capitals of the USA. They think someone is taking their picture. The trick is that they must not laugh. There were three Blondes that walked into a bar and shouted, "We're not dumb! and hangs up the phone. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all die. But perhaps the most annoying part of being a blonde is enduring the never-ending stream of blonde jokes. Live smarter, look better, and live your life to the absolute fullest. 24. 22. The waitress says "I'm blonde! After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the waiter, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet. The friend stuck her head out and said, "Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes…", You give them a shampoo that says "rinse, wash, and repeat. What’s the difference between a pregnant blonde and a lightbulb? Blonde jokes are old favorite, you’ll enjoy yourself tremendously over a good blonde joke. The woman on the other end of the phone says, "Just a minute…" The blonde says, "Thanks!" "Can't you read the sign?" Eventually she saw a snowplow so she followed it along in her car. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. A blind man enters a bar, carefully, and finds his way to a barstool. A Blonde was standing in front of a soda machine muttering, "You're a dumb-looking button. "Well," said the Blonde "its a safety precaution, lost night I lost my key." How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? Enter your email address to get the best tips and advice. We all recognize that this is just ongoing teasing with no foundation in reality at all, as all blonde doctors, inventors, engineers etc etc etc can readily prove. He's seven inches long and he's always up. Someone dented her car. And if you're in more polite company (or, you know, brunette company), try telling one of our dozens of hilarious clean jokes instead. ", She asked her friend to check. To all the blondes out there, we get it. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat. Bestlifeonline.com is part of the Meredith Health Group. To avoid getting hearing AIDS. her girlfriend asked. Did you hear the Blonde had a blackout last night? "I know. "I have one child that's just under two. Why would anyone want to make a blonde joke anyway? See TOP 10 blonde one liners. The redhead goes next and makes ", The blind guy says "No, I guess not. Why did the blonde go to the dentist? You're going to be replaced by a much better looking button." All Rights Reserved. Joke: A blonde walks into a bar.Shortly after another blonde walks into a bar. Are you sure you want to tell them?" This is a singles bar." The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde and I’m a 6′ tall, 200 pound blonde with a black belt in karate. The bartender is blonde and she carries a baseball bat. Why did the blonde put condoms on her ears? 21. "replied the Blonde. "Big deal" said the Blonde "I already had him so tired he couldn't get away." What do blondes do when their laptop freezes? You can unscrew a lightbulb. What’s more, the fella sitting next to me is blonde and he’s a weightlifter. All sorted from the best by our visitors. Think about it seriously, mister. Really Funny Blonde Jokes -- Clean Really Funny Blonde Jokes. 23. You still wanna tell that blonde joke?” ", A Blonde walk's into a bar and order's 18 beer's. If you can't laugh @ yourself, who can you laugh at?. Although it isn’t true, the jokes are still funny. How do you confuse a blonde? A new CDC report highlights how it will likely happen. The blonde rolled her eyes and said,"Duh, a 7 and 7." Shine a flashlight in her ears. This popular pill could be putting your health at risk. The largest collection of blonde one-line jokes in the world. We put this puzzle together!" The Blonde quickly pointed to the sign on the front of the machine that read "DEPRESS BUTTON FOR ICE". Bartender, give me another. ", When the police officer asked why, she said, "It got chilly in here, so I turned off the fan.". Also, the lady sitting next to you is blonde as well. asked the bartender. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter. A Blonde, a Brunette, and a Redhead were sitting around trying to compare their boyfriends to brands of pop. The box said "for two to five years" and it only took her one. they ordered there drinks, and on the 7:00pm news was a man about to jump off a brige. I’m a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate. What’s more, the fella sitting next to me is blonde and he’s a weightlifter. A blind man enters a bar, carefully, and finds his way to a barstool. Blonde Jokes; Dumb Blonde Jokes; Working Blondes Jokes; You Know You are a Blonde If Jokes; 25 Things a Blonde Says During Sex Joke; Aches and Pains Joke One day a Blonde is sitting in a bar trying to spear the olive in his drink with a toothpick, but the olive always eluded him. Jan 7, 2021 - JOKES ONLY A BLONDE WOULD UNDERSTAND....OR NOT. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter. She said, "They're for my friends who don't drink. Q: Why did the blonde carry a ladder to the bar? It took her months to figure out she could use it at night. Joke Generators: Click Here for a random Pick Up Line; Click Here for a random Yo Mama Joke Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? Whether you've got natural platinum locks or have a standing appointment with your stylist every six to eight weeks, these blonde jokes are guaranteed to make you chuckle. How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? More jokes about: bar, bartender, blonde, sport A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. So a five-dollar bill walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Hey. And my coworker is blonde, too. A little Friday chuckle for you... A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake. She couldn't figure out which number came first. Funny* Blonde Jokes by Famous Sexy Blondes 10 somewhat funny jokes from some of our favorite Hollywood blondes. Someone told her drinks were on the house. In order to get into heaven though, they must go up 100 steps, each containing a joke. Why did the blonde put water on her computer? A blonde finds herself in serious trouble. Finally a guy sitting next to the Blonde picked up a toothpick and said "Here this is how you do it" and neatly speared the olive. He loves to do it in the mountains all the time. And for that, we have a solution: Come up with a few blonde jokes of your own—or use one of these. He said one proposed vaccine plan isn't workable. See more ideas about blonde jokes, jokes, dumb blonde jokes. ", One blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away, Florida or the moon?" The guy in the Yankees cap approaches the bartender and make a bet: "I'll bet you $1,000 that I can put a shot glass at one end of your bar and piss into it from the other end of the bar without spilling a drop." Also, the lady sitting next to you is blonde as well. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, ”Hey, you wanna hear a blond joke? The best "walks into a bar" jokes. There was so much alcohol in the Blonde's system that he was only allowed to donate during licensing hour's. The doctor says, "Ma'am, you have a broken finger.". A Blonde walks into a bar with a door under his arm. "What's with the door?" After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The third one ducks. The Brunette cut in, "You can't use Jack Daniels. the Blondes said, "this puzzle says 3-5 years but we did it in 51 days.". He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. "What are you doing?" 1. ". Ask any blonde you know, it is believed that blonde jokes were invented by brunettes, jealous of Marilyn Monroe getting to have sex with JFK. Two Blondes walk into a bar that serves food and pull out their sandwiches but the barman tells them "You can't eat your own sandwiches in here." A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake. The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. At the moment we are still adding jokes, so the offer is still limited, but that will change soon. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a ‘Billy-Club’. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. Welcome to jokes-for-us.com, the website with the best jokes, puns and riddles on the internet. You don't have much of a future, either. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. In a very deep, husky […] To wash the Windows. replied the Blonde "no one served under 18. See more ideas about blonde jokes, jokes, dumb blonde jokes. Read the most funny Dirty Jokes and tell them to your friends at JokesAllDay.com "Why so many?" The other blonde says, "Well, you can't see Florida…". There's something about a sexy woman telling a joke that just makes it, well, funny. The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. She's going to have another tonight. Absolutely hillarious blonde one-liners! ", The blonde said, "I might be blonde, but I know how many one is. The other one said, "No it's not, that's the sun." And my coworker is blonde, too. There was a power outage and eight blondes were stuck on the escalators for more than four hours. asked the barman. They asked her what it was and she said, "I don't know, I'm not from around here. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, "I've had it up to here with these blonde jokes. ", The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see. Find your favorite blonde joke and tell them to your friends. These hilarious jokes prove that blondes really do have more fun. 20. These jokes demean blonde woman with their intelligence. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is Q: How do you describe a Blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots? The woman to your right is a blonde, and she’s a pro wrestler. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. Because you know what? I don't want to have to explain it three times. "The Brunette said, "My boyfriend's like Mountain Dew. ... blonde and red head Not rated yet a blonde and a red head go into a bar together. Two guys walk into a bar. An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake, finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. Critics smelled what he was cooking—and hated it. He sits down and says, "Who wants to hear some blonde jokes?" After ordering a drink, and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?” The bar immediately becomes very, very quiet. Two men walk into a bar, one wearing a cowboy hat and the other wearing a Yankees cap. One looked up and said, "That's the moon." The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde and I’m a 6′ tall, 200 pound blonde with a black belt in karate. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. That's a hard liquor. 15 Witty Bar Jokes Anyone Can Remember Brandon Specktor Updated: Apr. Short Blonde Jokes. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to … "That's alright, I left the window open. "Yes," she replied. Shutterstock. Are you sure you want to tell them? Tell her a joke on Wednesday. So they swapped. So they can catch all the things that go over their head. They were arguing back and fourth until this Blonde came up. There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. 16, 2020 Turn the next five minutes into Happy Hour with these short, sweet bar jokes for any occasion. Being blonde comes with tolerating a lot, from expensive toning shampoos to the constant pressure to live up to the saying that blondes have more fun. Enough of the black jokes, take a look at some of the best funny blonde jokes that we found. The brunette goes first and laughs at the first step and is sent to hell. ", So she made it "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyAlbany.". You think they would have caught on after the first two blondes didn't duck. To hear these total groaners! "Big deal" said the Blonde "I already had him so tired he couldn't get away.". Joke: A blonde goes into a bar. © 2020 Galvanized Media. asked the barman. One day a Blonde is sitting in a bar trying to spear the olive in his drink with a toothpick, but the olive always eluded him. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate. * A small note on usage: It is NOT OK to use blonde jokes, even though they're really funny, to make actual living, breathing people feel crap. "The Blonde said," My boyfriend's like Jack Daniels." Q: How do you fit four blondes on one bar stool? The vaccine won't only prevent you from getting sick. Be the life of the party with these funny bar jokes. Ten seconds later two more blondes walk into the bar. Do you look for great blonde jokes to read then you’ve come to the right place. "A smile crossed the Blonde's face. "And what happens if you loose the door?" The bar immediately falls silent, and the woman sitting next to him says, “Sir, before you tell that joke, it’s only fair that you should know a few things. A blonde lady was stuck in a snowstorm when she remembered her dad's advice: "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, wait until a snowplow drives by and then follow it." Check out the best bar jokes and be sure to test them out on your friends for a good laugh. Why did the chicken cross the road? After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?” The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. These “walks into a bar” jokes and funny bar jokes go down smooth! In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, you should know five things: 1 - The bartender is a blonde girl. After ordering a drink, and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?” The bar immediately becomes very, very quiet.. Categories: Alcohol Jokes , Bar Jokes ( Walks Into a Bar ) , Blonde Jokes ( Dumb Blonde Jokes ) The waitress says "I'm blonde! Jan 8, 2020 - Poking fun @ my fellow blondes. The Redhead said, "My boyfriend's like 7-Up. You'd think at least one of them would've seen it. the bartender said, "So what's the point?" There was two guys that came out of a bar. In a husky, deep voice,the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something. Blondes do have more fun—and these blonde jokes are here to prove it. "If I was a girl again, I would like to be like my fans, I would like to be like Madonna.". The bouncer is a blonde girl with a 'Billy-Club'. A blind man walks into a bar. Microwave them. Jokes4us.com - Jokes and More. She comes into work the next day and proudly claims, "us blondes are smarter than you realise, I know all … Put her in a circle and tell her to go to the corner. Currently, there are already more than 600 jokes on the site, including over 160 jokes for kids . The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat. Finally a guy sitting next to the Blonde picked up a toothpick and said "Here this is how you do it" and neatly speared the olive.