As a bitter person, you’ll find it earth-shatteringly difficult to talk about what’s happening. She regularly contributes to Crosswalk. a. It’ll show you that getting punched in the face isn’t the worst thing in the world and even if you get your ass kicked, you can handle it. Is it the person who betrayed you? However, holding on to that anger for too long will lead to bitterness. If you see a crime, look for the policemen. Bitter people and the people around them need to stop playing the victim and have a mentality that they can control their lives, who they interact with and are in charge of their future. I have found that His ideas are much better than mine, so I try not to get stuck in my own frame of mind. I'm not a bad person, bit of a people pleaser (often to my detriment). Moreover, choose to forgive the people who made you feel rejected or treated you unfairly. Visit her at her website and/or on Facebook. I have been down that path, and am happy to say that there’s a solution to all kinds of bitterness. The American Psychiatric Association actually classifies embitterment as a psychological disease that requires treatment. Maybe with strangers, but with loved ones it becomes sad to watch them waste their lives away being bitter. No one needs this much drama. Trying to cheer up a bitter person is far more difficult than it may seem. God is good and will always be good, first and foremost. This person is feeding their flesh – giving in to their hidden desire to protect their honor above all else. When turned inward it turns into depression. That’s okay, stay true to yourself, your faith, and your goals for growth. I cannot control anyone besides myself and sometimes I can’t even do that. Is it the person who betrayed you? She lives near Atlanta, Georgia with her husband. It’s hard, but do it for your own sake. They often keep a record of the things others have done wrong to them. God’s goodness is immeasurable when I give thanks for everything to my God in the name of my Lord Jesus Christ. Since I was in my early 30’s, I have been attacked by Lyme disease in every joint and organ of my body. People do bad things way too often, but God’s grace covers a multitude of problems and squeezes some good out of the evil. Instead, the bitter person views the good fortune of someone else as more evidence that they have not been given a fair chance themselves. In fact, realizing what the issue is on your own is the best way to go about it. While doing this self-diagnosis, you should ask yourself the following three questions: Your self-evaluation should be introspective and retrospective in nature. Imagine being him, treating someone the way he did and not being bothered about it. The aim of this self-diagnosis is to find out why you are bitter, and what the cause of your bitterness is. Diagnose: Self-evaluation is the key to unlocking the problem. Just remember not to bring your bitterness into your new relationships. Spending time with family and close friends allows you to vent and then move on. Misery loves company, and to get 'company' a bitter person will cause scenes and disturbances. They simply hate being around cheerful people, when at the same time, they’re feeling deeply depressed by their own existence. It is quite obvious that bitterness and anger go hand in hand. If I can’t even control myself, why do I feel like I should prescribe a specific plan for someone else to follow. There is a difference. Try and think on the brighter side of the situation and how you can change them. Being angry with almost everyone. You are kind. People who are bitter are more likely to pout when they don’t get their way, and make sure everyone knows about it. Evil, greed, and meanness run rampant. Besides, meeting them in person will also help you set a new foundation for your relationship going forward. Someone is taking a vacation and I’m stuck at home. I’m not entitled to anything, but God gives me a lot of goodness anyway. Therapists, counselors, psychologists, and other professionals can help equip you with the tools you need to forgive those who have hurt you and let go of your bitterness. Decide to stop hurting yourself. They don’t set out a plan, or even articulate the intended objectives of the process. How do I stop comparing myself with others so that I can overcome my feelings of inferiority and insecurity? Cancer and other diseases are feared and often take up the forefront of our minds. Some people simply can’t get over their bitterness on their own. Just remember – only you are in charge of your happiness. Anyway, I don't think it's a healthy way to live life but this is how I've been for the past few years (I'm 18 years old right … This person assumed the role of victim, has put out the locus of control assuming a defeatist attitude. But failing to come up with a plan is planning to fail. God knew it would not always be possible to live at peace with some people. No one has escaped this sweet evil that can turn bitter in no time. Misery loves company, mainly because it never has guests. For His design is wonderful even though we have moved far from that origin. Just remember you are a wonderful person and will have a much more fufulling life than him. I wrote an answer to another question, but I think it would apply here as well. How to stop being an angry, bitter person. It simply means we are expelling their actions from our minds so they no longer plague us. Even with the people you know really well. Read on. The other side of the coin to this article is the idea that we attract what we put out in the world. When I deliberately focus on things that are true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and worthy of praise (Philippians 4:8) as much as I can, I see the world a little bit differently. God in His sovereignty has allowed everyone on the earth to have free will. Bitterness stops telling me what's wrong and not good. But generally I'm kind, patient and helpful (I think). I can trust His basic countenance. In addition to making the choice to let go of grudges, it is crucial that you also pass on this communication to those you are forgiving. All rights reserved. But that’s the perfect way to slide back into bitterness. Bitter people seek attention because they want reassurance that their situation is unfair. The goal is to surround yourself with people who help you be a happier person—and you want to give the same gift to them. Sometimes I need to live with the original innocence of the Garden of Eden. You can’t stop it, and your heart breaks a little at each twist, turn, and dent. I've learnt to avoid negative or controlling people. 8. ~2 years later we have both graduated. I resent being here, because if people had simply left me alone I would have died and been spared all of this garbage. Diamond Stephan (Ph.D.) contends that bitterness arises directly from frustrations. Life offers enough suffering, we don't need to create or nurture more of it. Especially with the people you know really well. Psychology Today states that “all forms of bitterness starts from one feeling; anger.”. You don’t. What is your typical response when you start feeling bitter? You cannot be good at being a man and lose that wild soul that led great men to conquer and protect and provide. If a bitter person is spouting things you don’t agree with, try to avoid that tack. Being angry with almost everyone. Its probably all superficial on social media. and I started to resent them for "ghosting" me when I could've used a friend, but I never unfollowed them on social media. I used to be a bitter person myself but being in that state of mind, staying there, holding grudges, and thinking everyone is "butt hole," just makes life seem less meaning full. What frustrations have you faced during your day? If you find yourself angry with everyone and refusing all invitations, you might be a bitter individual. SO, I don’t know how to get it to go. I used to be a bitter person myself but being in that state of mind, staying there, holding grudges, and thinking everyone is "butt hole," just makes life seem less meaning full. All you need to do is have a chat with yourself or a friend. You stop developing internal resources of happiness and strength. For instance, if I am a bitter woman and one man hurt me, all men instantly become bad; hence, I become angry at more than three billion people due to their gender. It doesn’t make sense, but to a bitter person, it is perfectly sensible. deleted_user 08/24/2008 I'm mad all the time, start fights with my husband, usually about family get together, because I don't want to go; yet if they don't invite me it gives me more ammo to be mad. What exactly os When given a chance, bitterness grows like weeds in a garden. 3. Many people who are bitter tend to withdraw from others. But when you nip those bitter weeds in the bud, life feels much better and is more peaceful. The effect of being around someone who is emotionally bitter is as complex as the bitterness construct itself. Finally, if you want another positive way to improve your life, then read and learn something new every day. I'm mad all the time, start fights with my husband, usually about family get together, because I don't want to go; yet if they don't invite me it gives me more ammo to be mad. But when you look at the whole picture of any incident, somehow you see good woven through.