I think that your instinct is right and you should give him the space he wants. I'm leaving on holiday in a week (going away for two weeks) and I would like to sort things out before then. I asked him what do you mean “I’m sorry” and answers me “I dont know”. Just try to be to a certain extent that tenderness, do not overdo it and sometimes give space to your partner, no one wants to be bored and constantly hugged or kissed. Till then, I’ll just text u if I like, tts all.” and i pushed him again after that, asking if caring about me meant the same to him as loving me. we both worked in UAE. What can you do to get your ex back? We stayed happy until recently, he broke up with me. While you are at it, drop a line that reminds him how much fun you have had when you were still together. I hope you know what I mean, and all the best to you. It also depends on you to .do you really want him if so be patient if not move on Honey, nobody does that. Like everyone else, my boyfriend of 20 months asked for some space as i was fighting with him constantly when he just got a new job in a different city other than where he actually lives. This is very coward way of handling things and I’m heartbroken because I really believed he was a respectful man and one of strong character. I haven’t heard from him yet. My boyfriend tell me that he needed space and time. I told him I would be here for him just like I was months back & he will pull through this. Yesterday, I texted my girlfriend, and she said she wanted to ask me something. the night before. Discuss your dating problems on our forum. Access the best success, personal development, health, fitness, business, and financial advice....all for FREE! Don't sit around moping at home - get out, be with family and friends, and do things that will make your ex change his/her attitude about you - fast. Good luck. Hi lisa when i told him yesterday im getting a job and had 3 succesful interviews again, he was so happy and still calls me baby and he said he is proud of me and now he told me we will talk to each othwr next week after 3 weeksof not talking to each other.. what should i tell him.. i really want him back. I have 2 little girls, with who I have no contact with their father because of a bad situation that happened last year (there is currently an order of protection against him). Now even though you want to know how long to wait before contacting a boyfriend after a breakup, the best thing to do is not contact him at all. Thank you! And that is true – I promise you. Give him some space, he’ll probably snap out of it in no time. I’ve never ever seen him be so sensitive and angry over something so small before, and I know side effects include erratic behavior and personality changes. And I think you should show him you are not willing to wait that long for him and start dating casually. This is What Happens When You Give Him Space He will … I forgot it and then texts me again on Friday to see if he can come by where I was on the Sat afternoon to pick it up. He needs to know that your life is just fine and that you are not sitting and waiting for him. HE promised to he’d stay. Heather g. My boyfriend has been having a lot of issues with his ex and their children. It is so hard because we go to the same university so I get scared of bumping into him or seeing him at mutual friends parties etc. I have been dating my guy for like 3months .now he’s saying he wants to be alone and I said ok.but deep down I truly love him and I felt have lost him totally.becos you telling me you want to be alone means you done with me but I guess he just didn’t want to put it that way so it won’t hurt me, Hi Lisa he came back to europe to put up a food truck which is actually down at the moment and he already withdrew our fiance visa aplication to get me to be with him since he doesnt have apartment yet. That unfortunately sounds like an excuse to me. Then he will be able to see that he misses you. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 7 months we got an apartment together and were really happy and even talked about our future and he took pictures of engagement rings. I asked if he wants me gone forever, he said that he doesn’t know and he doesn’t want to think about it. Your relationship has been very happy, as far as you know. I spoke to him yesterday afternoon he wanted to see how everything was and to tell me that he spoke to my dad who is a bit sick and had a nive conversation with him. My boyfriend would be disappointed if I withheld my opinion or solution to a problem because I didn’t want to emasculate him, I think appalled might be a better word because we’d have some problems. I believe that everything happens for the best and you may find that it’s true in a few weeks. So here's what worked for me to get my girlfriend back and you can do the same thing with your boyfriend! fight we had (and I thought we had gotten over in that 5 min.) You and your boyfriend have a lot of fun together and the two of you cannot seem to have enough of each other. Can someone who doesn’t love himself (so much that he needs medication to get through the day) – love anyone else? Does he REALLY just wants some time alone or is he trying to break up with you? During this 2 weeks, you should make the most of the time that you have. Rather say things that will make your ex want to see you again. He said he was trying but still struggling. One month before the trip he says he is confused, not sure if he can do it and needs space. He changed his profile pic on Facebook from us to just him and changed our status from in a relationship to its complicated!!! Do this have any hope of surviving? I noticed for the past few months he was very depressed and I tried to be there for him as best as I could but he tends to pull away when he’s stressed and doesn’t want to talk about his feelings. I tried to give him space of course after trying to convince him to stay by begging , pleading and crying my eyes out. Thanks. First, make sure you don't contact him AT ALL for at least 2 weeks. Pick yourself up and don't let him see you sweat. If you remain friends with him, his transition becomes smoother and yours remains more difficult. I been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years now. ), 100+ Flirty & Fun Questions to Ask a Guy You Like/Boyfriend, 34 Topics to Talk About with Your Boyfriend (Over Text), How to Make Him Regret Leaving You (& Losing You), Should You Tell a Guy You Like Him - FIRST? Just tell him you can't wait anymore, you need to know if there's a relationship there. Regardless of what a woman says, almost all women yearn to be a man’s woman. I am 41 and have been with my 45 years old boyfriend for a year. Watch some you tube videos like matt Boggs or Tony Robbins very helpful in understanding men I texted the next day around noon because I hadn’t got my usual good morning text from him. Even though the two of you are in a cool-off period, you should still try to keep in touch with him. Do you want a man who doesn't want you? I think that you are probably right with everything you said. Once you realize this, and make the change within yourself – he will feel it and reach out to you. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. In your case, maybe just 30 days. It may be time to change to more honest and aggressive tactics, or it may simply be time to break up and move on. Giving 3 to 7 days of space after a break up is usually more than enough to let her see that you are respecting her wishes and aren’t desperately trying to force her into a relationship with you again. Rachel, Try to find a way to run into him casually. And what do I do when he decides to start spending time with me again? I asked if he wanted this to be over and he said not to pressure him. Should I just expect him to think that I will get the hint and for him to never contact me again? I dont know if i should believe him coz last time he told me he will never give up on me and was excited to see me… and suddenly he didnt come to see me ..he even said he dont want my family to spend for him while he is on vacation. Learning exactly how to win a man’s love, devotion and commitment is the only way to prevent another “I need space” type of bomb from falling on your head again. I would say that you shouldn’t completely ignore him, but tone it down to half the effort you used to give before he wanted space. That he couldn’t answer me right now. My husband moved out six months ago for a “break/space” and all the time has been giving false hopes. Get a tan. Of course, I went and did the wrong thing and fussed about it and he got upset back and told me he couldn’t do this at work. But we have talked about getting married and having kids. He spent all last night at his moms and I didn’t bother him once. Learn how your comment data is processed. When he says he wants to break up, let him go. My boyfriend recently said he wants space from me.I replied that I respect his decision and said if we don’t see each other gain know that I genuinely love you. Does he want me to still contact him? You loved being with him and now you are faced with being alone. How do I deal with that? It’s been two weeks since he said he needed time. A man will look back and respect the woman that held it together. Or should I just give him the space he needs right now. ***What if you felt inspired to Be More Generous? on mar26 he told me its over and his love changed for me and hes been thinking about calling it quits long time. You are the prize and if he gave you up, have the attitude that it's his loss. After the few days I received a text from him saying he knows he has hurt both of us and he thinks it’s better if he stays quiet for a while and he loves me(first time he says it). But he does not comment or like any of my posts. You were shocked when you first heard him say it, and now you are in panic. He also knows i am here for him and i encourage him and praise him with i appreciate you. I clearly stated that I have not had contact with him but he has been trying to reach the girls. i thought our problems came down to an INTP’s issues with connecting and feeling, and didnt acknowledge the possibility of stresses, problems or concerns that he had that led to him asking for space. I have known my boyfriend for 2 years now with ups and downs. I would be patient. He said he was losing appreciation for me and didn’t want that. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Here’s what happened I started to believe that he no longer loved me bc we have different schedules this year and I barely see him at college. I can be quite dependant on him and that I have now realised and need to change but I want him to give me a chance to prove to him I can change, I am scared he is going to break up with me after these couple of weeks. February 9, 2018 by Steve Horsmon 3 Comments Note: A few day’s before he was put on the max dose (60mg) of steroids (prednisone) for a health condition. To my surprise he answered me very nicely and said that he is in the background for now and he hasnt moved on and he wont do it either and asked me if i did go out and meet someone new which i was shocked for that. Whatever you say to your friends will get back to your ex. He will think you are needy and clingy and this will push him further away until he eventually breaks up with you – for good. Which made us decide for me to move in with him. I find those reasons completely odd because I’ve never ever been told I’m sensitive before. I hope this helps and don’t worry, everything happens for the best of reasons, and in time you’ll be able to see it. It is also highly likely that he might end up feeling jealous enough not to want to leave you alone. Is there a reason you can think of that made him want to be on his own right now? But i love my man and i am giving him his space .my circumstances are quite different from most but still i let him come and go .i have a goid career. That should be enough to get you two back together. If you are in a long-term relationship, then you can give some intimate moments to your partner, that will make him miss you, even more, when you are not by his side. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. This is the effect that reverse psychology has, and what will eventually get your ex back. He been hit and miss with responding to me. Your actions will determine if this will be a temporary alone-time or a real breakup! I need help. You see, using reverse psychology simply means to do things in exactly the opposite way to what is expected of you. I am so confused. 3-4 weeks ago, i asked him if anything was wrong with us and he said he felt he didn’t have to say to me, but also that he wasn’t really wanting to talk to anyone else either. I was upset at first but then I gave him the no contact. Not giving enough space to the point where you begin taking away her individual freedom Should I be worried? To learn the killer, advanced strategies to get your ex back, simply click here! He says he has so much going on (and he does) and he just needs to cool off. I broke it off with him thru chat ( I know it wasn’t the best idea but it’s my only way). Your email address will not be published. Please let me know your thoughts. It is not that you don’t match, and it’s not that he doesn’t love you. This was completely out of the blue, he hadn’t been distant or different at all. He might wonder what you’re doing or wonder how your day is going. When your boyfriend asks you to give him some space, you'll probably feel hurt, confused, or angry--or all three. For the past month my anxiety and fear from my past relationships got the best of me and I kept asking him if he would cheat on me and if he has feelings for anyone else and I got jealous if he talked to another girl and I realize now that I was wrong. A month before the exams he broke up with me saying he wants me to focus on career first and that we do not match each other anymore. And suddenly the “I want space” bomb drops on your head. He still opened up the issue with the ex. My Boyfriend Wants Space How Long Should I Wait: He Wants A Break How Long Should I Give Him. Is it possible to make your ex miss you like crazy? Is giving him space a good idea or should I try to fight for our relationship. He wants me to take time to think things through too. I told him I’d not contact him to give him space and he could contact me when ready. After 3 days I tried to ask if he wanted to talk…he replied but then never called so I asked if now was a good time. Hi. He asked for a few days to sort his problems. No begging or pleading or bombarding him with a million questions of what went wrong. Hi Lisa, This is then the perfect time to have a chat to your ex about how you are going to fix the problems that caused the break up. I’m sure it has nothing to do with you, but with his personal issues. copyright 2020 Lisa Redfield. Should I answer his calls? I just don’t k is what to do. This will do two things at once. that he is losing interest in…, Filed Under: Breakup, Dating Advice, Understand Men Tagged With: Relationship Advice by Lisa Redfield. I think that you should give him a few days, maybe a week, to cool off and have a chance to think about things and realize that he was acting out of fear. I kept nagging him with the same questions bc I was bring petty and childish and he said he wanted space. That really hurts because it scares you and leaves you not knowing what to think about the status of the relationship. He asked if he could call me in a few days and made me promise to answer, it’s been 3 and no word yet. Stop your break up now and visit this Helful Site! He told me the situation was work pressure and family issues . We are the only ones responsible for our happiness. This will make you look more independent and give the impression that you're over the breakup. But I kept asking him because I was gonna be stressed out until I knew and that was a mistake because he said he needed space to think about whether he wants to continue this relationship because the past month has been mentally draining. WTF! he says hes emotionaly tired. Should I give up or is there still a chance between us? No success.!!!! Do you want to get back with your ex? I rekindled a relationship with an ex a few months ago. I think that with time he will contact you and probably regret the way he did this, and may even want to get back with you, but it really depends on his character, I don’t know. Go to: RelationshipTalkForum.com. having had some time to think about things, calm down and get back to doing things that i enjoy, i sort of regret the way i ended our last conversation. My girlfriend left me after 3 years together and I was crushed. He has the opportunity to reflect and RECOGNIZE his feeling for you. Over the weekend i sent him two more messages which he totally ignored i finally got through to him on his mobile and asked again if he wanted to end things to which his reply was he has a lot of things going on at the moment and he can’t handle things sorry for everything just need my space at the moment so i said ok does that mean were are over then or do you just need space to sort things put and he hasn’t replied so im still no further forward and really don’t know what to think about it all. And he said that if I need and answer right now, he thinks that I should move on. He didn’t mean to not talk but his hands were full. I think that you should give him the space he is asking for. Follow the information step by step and you will not only learn how to get back your ex for sure, but also how to start feeling better in your stressful situation, why quarrels happen and how to avert them. Get a new hairstyle. My Boyfriend Wants Space Of all the things your boyfriend can say during the course of your relationship ‘, I need some space’ is the most confusing. When the man you love comes to you and tells you that he wants more space it's puzzling. my boyfriend of three years just dumped me, says we fight to much but i say we could work it out. Any advise? This is the first drunk fight we have ever had. Now i want to know how to keep this up slowly… do i text him the next day or wait for him to start as he told me “we will talk tomorrow”. Once your ex realizes that you are NOT doing what you usually do, that you are NOT sitting at home feeling miserable for yourself, he/she will make contact with you sooner or later. Then on Monday he completely changed. A Thousand Splendid Suns By Khaled Hosseini – Book Summary: A Story Of Female Friendship And Sacrifice, The Lowland by Jhumpa Lahiri – Book Review: The Intimacy of Political and Personal, The Bluest Eye Review: The Paws Of Conventional Beauty And Internalized Racism. How much space should I give him? Read: 7 signs your boyfriend doesn’t love you anymore. But if your boyfriend still acts coldly towards you, it is time for you to explore alternatives. Hi, So I let him be. The first step is learning how the male mind works and what they really want. And two, this will give you the opportunity to show off the new you. So my question is- after what he has been telling me, is there a possibility that he’ll come back or is he gone for good? I’m sure that if you are able to give him the space he wants – without worrying about it – you’ll reap the benefits. He asked whi I never told him anything about this. I don’t want him to feel like I’m being clingy. This is why a wavering partner asks for space. I don’t know if I should wait for him or just move on. I sent one back saying I was sorry to hear that and I hoped he got some rest. Since then we have reconnected and talked about getting back together we got into a slight argument but talked through it. Then he told me I just need some time. He was very sweet as always. You don’t want this to be forced anyway, right? I really love him and scared I have lost him. When I got home, he started to get his bag (we do not live together) and said we needed to talk. I asked if I could do anything to help somehow cause I wanted to. I will make sure he has everything he needs before I leave. When I originally read it, I was perplexed what the “in a while” meant. He feels that he can’t be responsible for your happiness, and he shouldn’t. For the whole system and all you would ever need to know, check it out here right now: Get Back My Ex, Now you can stop your break up or lover’s rejection...even if your situation seems hopeless! Just be patient and don’t be afraid – there’s nothing to fear. When your ex, or your boyfriend or girlfriend, says that they want space or time, it’s frustrating and confusing. Use this time to get over this pain and to focus on yourself. He said he still cared about me too and that he needed to be able to give me 100% but right now he couldn’t do that. This is where things get tricky. I’m sorry but…that’s how it is.”. Boiled down, he wants you to wait around while he does whatever he wants. Thank you for advice, greatly appreciate it! These things will improve your appearance as well as give you a boost in self confidence. It's tempting to take this as a sign that he might be breaking up with you, but it's not. When he feels better, I’m sure he will contact you. First, make sure you don't contact him AT ALL for at least 2 weeks. If he tells you he misses you too, rejoice because he will come back soon. His ex-wife is being extremely difficult and has stopped him from seeing his son and his brother cheated on his wife and is now staying with him! This is “work” that needs to be done on the inside. He does however get very stressed for little reasons, I think this is the anxiety. However, it is the way you cope in this situation that matters. prior to that, in the course of our relationship, he’s had several challenges including chronic prostatitis, finishing up his PhD and being unsure of what life had in store for him other than more challenges. Most of us, who have never been clinically depressed, have no idea what it’s like and how it feels, no matter how hard we try to understand. Exactly how much time you allow is up to you. I finally decided to respect his decision as he told me this would be good for our relationship. Leaving him alone has been the hardest thing for me to do but I’m trying to respect his wishes. Here are some of the most common excuses: The first thing you have to understand is that these are just excuses. Ive been with my girl for 1 year and 2 months and weve had a tough run together. We are all healthy. She said she got asked by one of her friends to ask me why I'm always with her. He doesn’t want to hurt you but I don’t think he knows what he wants at this point. Their are so many books on understanding the difference between men and women. Good luck! My boyfriend of two years asked me for space yesterday. i also stated “When u are ready, u’ll plan and initiate our next meeting. At this time, both parties may have a cooling-off period, but it is not recommended that the time be too long… Tell your partner what is going on for you in an honest direct way," said Senarighi. If you feel clingy, he will sense it – without you saying anything. After two years I feel I deserved at least a break up in person (not on the phone). Don't listen to that advice of others that tell you to keep contact or remain friends.