Here, ADDitude readers describe their love/hate relationship with hyperfocus, and experts share strategies for managing it more effectively. My best advice is to get treatment as soon as possible!” Divide and Conquer “I was diagnosed nine months ago and started on medication, which has profoundly changed me and the way I see our relationship. Relationships and ADD/ADHD. Plus, it means that you enjoy the time spent at work. Relationships and Hyperfocus. Powerful, erratic, and somewhat mysterious, hyperfocus is a state familiar to any individual with ADHD who has ever zeroed in so totally on a project or task that the outside world has ceased to exist. My ADHD has now ruined 2 relationships in a row. Since 2014, she has published information, advice, and essays for adults with Adult Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) here at The ADHD Homestead.Her writing about ADHD has also appeared in ADDResources, ADHD Roller Coaster with Gina Pera, A Dose of Healthy … In a relationship, hyperfocus may show up early on without even needing an invitation. ... TotallyADD is dedicated to helping adults with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADD/ADHD – we use the acronyms interchangeably) and those affected by it, (family, employers, health professionals, etc.) That is what happened with my dad shortly after marriage. At the beginning of a relationship, you might hyperfocus on the person you are dating. Dealing with loss of hyperfocus in a new romantic relationship Throwaway because he's a redditor also - Hello :) I am a 30-something female entering into a romantic relationship with a 30-something male. Unregulated hyperfocus can be detrimental, like being late for dinner, damaging health and relationships. Concerns about hyperfocus in dating/courting relationships. A rush of biochemical euphoria comes with “new love.” Those of us with ADHD often hyperfocus on romance, not just for the sake of romance, but also to increase those pleasure-producing neurotransmitters (dopamine) that are in short supply in our brains. "Hyperfocus" is an overloaded word that is often used to refer to two superficially similar -- but fundamentally different -- mental states: flow and perseveration. Regardless of adult attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD), falling in love is easy. If one cultivates hyperfocus towards beneficial and valuable goals it plays a role in success among peers. I fear that if he does have ADHD and hyperfocus, the affection will wane and he will change into a different person. If you hyperfocus on work-related tasks, you develop a reputation as someone who is talented and dedicated to their work. I (30M) thought I had learned from the first one of 5 years, but apparently not. Learn more about what hyperfocus is, its link to ADHD, and tips to manage it. Jaclyn Paul is a fiction writer and blogger based in Baltimore, Maryland. But we had 16 years of damage before this. This intense level of attention feels flattering and intoxicating to your date. Intense concentration, also known as hyperfocus, can be a sign of ADHD. Hyperfocus can and should be regulated or directed. 6+ years now down the drain. This one, just a year (but STILL a year), I felt more strongly about, we got along far better, and she (37F) seemed to get me on a deeper level than the first (38F). Flow is a positive, beneficial state of deep immersion and high engagement in a task or activity, and is also usually accompanied by enjoyment of the task/activity. Submitted by wishing_the_best on 10/17/2015. Consistently keeping in control hyperfocus is difficult but it is never impossible. My dad turned angry towards my mother for the silliest things. Hyperfocus 2012-04-01T01:01:58+00:00. ADHD diagnosis and treatment is essential to a strong ADHD relationship. ADHD can negatively affect relationships, but this does not have to be the case.